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13 December 2011 @ 12:05 am
Happy birthday, 9kinds!  
So... XD; This fic sort of spawned from a ridiculous conversation that I had with 9kinds a while back, and I told her I would write a fic of it, so... I did! Please don't take it seriously, it's meant to be comical |D;;; I honestly sat down and wrote this in about an hour, so... it's a far cry from a work of literary genius!

I hope you enjoy it, 9kinds! ♥

Title: Bad History
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ohmiya; Nino/Ohno/Nishikido Ryo; background Jun/Aiba
Word Count: 1,181
Author's Note: For 9kinds! It's her birthday by now in US EST, and we had joked around about this fic for a while, so I decided to write it for her. Meant entirely in jest-- please don't take this too seriously!
Summary: Sho already knows he doesn't want to guess what happened last night.


"You'll never," Aiba gushes, eyes wide, "guess what happened last night."

Sho already knows he doesn't want to guess what happened last night; he knew he should have said no to Aiba's begging and pleading to go out, but it had been a long week, and a little fun, he had told himself, never hurt anyone. But that was before he woke up this morning draped halfway out of his genkan, his shirt nowhere to be found and a phone he's pretty sure belongs to Chinen Yuri in his pocket. His head is still pounding painfully even now that they're waiting on hair and makeup before a photoshoot, and honestly, the last thing he wants to talk about is last night, but Jun has swatted Aiba away while he perfects his eyebrows, and so now Sho is left to entertain him for the moment. He can't find it in himself to answer, however, as he massages his temples in an attempt to speed up the effects of the ibuprofen he had taken earlier, and so he looks up at Aiba skeptically, his fingers itching for a cigarette.

Aiba, however, seems unperturbed. "Well, after we lost track of you, me and Jun were just heading for the bathroom when--" Sho cringes, hoping that Aiba wasn't going to go into the lurid details of whatever happened in the bathroom; Aiba could be a little tasteless sometimes when it came to his and Jun's exploits, as if they were still in high school or something. But luckily, Aiba does not, and Sho relaxes slightly as he continues, "--when we saw Nino and Leader. And you'll never guess who they were with!"

Sho doesn't particularly want to know, but he has a feeling that he's going to find out. It takes him a minute, however, to realize that Aiba is waiting for some acknowledgement, and so he gives his best "I'm listening," nod, followed quickly by a groan of pain as the movement sends pain shooting through his temples. Despite this, Aiba appears to be satisfied, and continues his tale, leaning towards Sho slightly as if divulging a juicy secret. "Nishikido Ryo! And they were together, all three of them, heading for the door, and they were all over one another Sho-chan, you don't understand--"

But Sho is pretty sure he does understand, and cringes, beginning to really worry about where this story is going. It doesn't get any better, however, as Aiba rambles on for a few minutes in definition of "all over" before returning to the story. "So anyway, we saw them leave, and then we sort of forgot about them for a while, but I got a mail--"

"I got a mail," Jun interjects from across the room, startling Sho and causing a pout to come over Aiba's features. Sho can't see Jun's face from the way he's bent so close to the mirrors, scrutinizing his own features, but from his tone of voice, Sho can tell he's pouting, too. "And I told you not to answer it, but you--"

"I said I was sorrrrryyyyyy," Aiba replies quickly, his voice a whine, and Jun sighs but seems to accept this. Aiba pouts in Jun's general direction for another moment before turning back to Sho, seemingly placated.

"Anyway, Jun got a mail from Leader with a photo, and it looked like they went to karaoke. And for some reason Jun got really upset--"

"Some reason?!" Jun asks incredulously from his place at the mirror, seemingly wondering if Aiba has somehow forgotten their Leader's bad history with karaoke, but this time, Aiba ignores him completely, powering through his story. "But I didn't really see what the problem was until later, when I got a call from Nino to come pick him up. But of course I was really drunk too, so Jun had to get a cab, and he bitched for a really long time about how we had to leave the Porsche there--"

"I did not bitch," Jun shoots back, despite the fact that Aiba is clearly not listening, a tone of indignation in his voice that Sho is fairly certain most people who describe as bitching. In Sho's pocket, the mystery phone beeps, but Sho does his best to ignore it.

"--But we finally got a cab, and then we had to go all the way over to Roppongi where Nino said he was, and it turns out Leader was there too, just on the side of the road--"

"On the side of the road?!" Sho nearly shouts, his voice rising in pitch and causing his ears to ring.

"Well, yeah," Aiba replies matter-of-factly, as if Sho were questioning his storytelling and not Nino and Ohno's decision-making skills. "Because it turns out, after they were getting it on at the karaoke place, Ryo wanted to go back to his apartment, and Leader and Nino agreed, but then they pissed him off in the cab, so he kicked them out. Like, right there on the side of the road in Roppongi."

"Why?" Sho asks, now too drawn into the story despite the fact that he really shouldn't ask. The phone is beeping insistently now, and Sho gropes in his pocket for a button to quiet it, his eyes not leaving Aiba.

"Apparently," Aiba drawls, seemingly pleased that he's finally drawn Sho in, "They were getting too into each other and ignored Ryo. He got so mad that he bit--"

But before he can finish, the door swings open, and in waltz Nino and Ohno, thirty-five minutes late and yet somehow as if just on cue. They honestly looks terrible; the bags under Nino's eyes are worse than usual, and Ohno's gaze seems entirely unfocused as Nino guides him into the room. They both look as if they dressed in the dark, and Sho recognizes the bright green tights on Ohno as an item of Nino's wardrobe. But more than their disheveled appearance, Sho is horrified by the bright red mark on Nino's neck that looks as if he was mauled by a large animal.

After a moment, Nino notices him staring and raises an eyebrow. "What's up, Sho-chan?"

"What... happened?" Sho asks, afraid to know the answer and unable to keep from asking all the same.

He doesn't know what he had been expecting, but of course, Nino only laughs, a grin curling up at the corners of his mouth. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks with a wink, throwing an arm around Ohno's shoulders and angling him towards the empty spots at the mirror.

Sho sighs, rubbing his temples as his head begins to pound again, and wonders why it seems like history is doomed to repeat itself. In an attempt to distract himself, he retrieves the phone from his pocket when it chimes again, scrolling past fifteen missed calls from Yamada Ryosuke only to find an email asking if he heard what happened with Ohno last night. As Aiba begins to pester him as to when he got a pink phone, Sho thinks, like all the other mornings-after before, it's going to be a long day.
 
 
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Hey!Say!JUMP//Shinku
 
 
 
S: Nino: embarassedyomimashou on December 13th, 2011 05:30 am (UTC)
XDDD this is excellent. Poor Sho |D (But I really, really want to know how Sho ended up shirtless and with Chinen's phone.....)
ミランダ (大丈夫): Sho: prettyfaded_lace on December 13th, 2011 06:14 am (UTC)
I do too XD;;; I want to write the fic about that story... But I'm glad you liked it!
S: Aiba/Jun: lolyomimashou on December 13th, 2011 06:22 am (UTC)
Do eet!
ミランダ (大丈夫): Aiba&Jun: ♥faded_lace on December 13th, 2011 06:25 am (UTC)
We'll see XD;
>:(9kinds on December 13th, 2011 08:24 am (UTC)
Hahaha yes! So good. Thank you for writing this. :)

Oh Nishikido.... (which my ipad wants to, very accurately, correct to Nishinomiya ) so ridiculous. :)
ミランダ (大丈夫): Ohmiya: hand holdfaded_lace on December 13th, 2011 02:58 pm (UTC)
Yay, I'm glad you like it! And wow, your iPad knows what's going on... XD;;;
britkit27: on with the crackbritkit27 on December 13th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
XDDDDDD this is beautiful. Oh, Sho. Oh, Aiba. alskdjf Ohno in Nino's green tights.
ミランダ (大丈夫): Ohno: happinessfaded_lace on December 13th, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it XD;;; Ohno in Nino's tights would be a thing of beauty.