Disclaimer: I don’t own Yuugioh or the Yaoi acronym.
Rating: PG-13 to be on the safe side.
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, drabble
Author’s note: I thought of this one when I was lying in bed last night not sleeping. I kinda liked how it turned out, even though the yaoi acronym is kinda randomly tossed in there. It fits all right, I think. Also, in case you’re unfamiliar with it, the Japanese translates to “No climax, no resolution, no meaning,” and it forms the acronym “yaoi”.
At night, Mokuba sees Noa. Not only does he see Noa, he feels him. Sometimes he tastes him, and sometimes Noa holds him, but it is always the same. In his dreams, Mokuba is with Noa.
Mokuba knows it’s not real. He wouldn’t be sure if he didn’t always wake up in the middle of those dreams feeling alone and cold. Sometimes, he gets up in search of a glass of water, warm food, something to get his mind off of what happens in his mind while he is asleep. But sometimes, he lies in bed and thinks about what could have been. He lets his mind wander for a little bit, just because he knows it can never be real.
Sometimes, right before he falls back asleep, Mokuba wonders how those dreams would end. He guesses at what Noa would say to him when he sees Noa at night. But then he drifts off, falls back asleep. And in the morning, he forgets.
In the morning, he forgets, and goes about his business. He eats breakfast, exchanges a few words with his brother, goes to school. After school, there’s work, and then dinner to be made. Mokuba often ends up making dinner, because Seto refuses to hire servants who can cook. And it’s when he’s cooking dinner that Mokuba remembers the dreams.
Cooking dinner used to be fun for Mokuba, something he could put his feelings into. But now it has become just another mindless task, and his mind wanders to what happened last night, with Noa. He wonders again if the dreams will ever have a satisfying ending, or even an ending at all. He wonders why he has to awaken at approximately the same point in every dream, as if there’s something that he’s not supposed to know. It confuses Mokuba, and leaves him feeling unsatisfied.
Sometimes Mokuba cries when he’s thinking about the dreams while cooking, but not usually. More often he burns himself and has to masquerade his hands behind bandages before bringing the tray up to his brother in his office. He sometimes wonders why he brings his brother’s food to him hot, directly after cooking it, when he knows his brother will not even think about it until after it is cold.
Usually, Mokuba leaves the tray on the table by Seto’s desk and leaves. But sometimes, he has to ask his brother something, because even though they are no longer the main focus of his attention, the dreams still bother him. He tries to mask the real meaning of his question, just like he masks so much else, but he is not sure if his facades are not, in fact, transparent. But whether or not Seto knows the real reasons behind Mokuba’s questions, he answers them.
When Mokuba tells Seto he has been having odd dreams, Seto smirks. He tells Mokuba that they are meaningless.
He tells Mokuba that they are meaningless, and Mokuba chews on that quietly behind his mask as he leaves the office. He wonders if they are, in fact, meaningless, just fragments of thoughts and worries left over from the day. He tries to agree with himself that, indeed, they are meaningless, and he tries to forget them.
He goes back downstairs and serves himself a now-cold dinner, hovering over the kitchen counter while he eats. He couldn’t bear to sit all by himself at that long, cold dining room table. It would make him feel far too alone.
After he’s washed his dishes, and some dishes that were already clean, Mokuba diligently does his homework. He produces numbers off the top of his head and fills out paper after paper of monochromatic problems. This does not challenge Mokuba, but it fills his mind, and for a little while, he feels content.
For the most part, Mokuba decides as he brushes his teeth, his days go well. He excels at school, is good at work, and really has no wants or needs unfilled. Yes, Mokuba’s days do go well.
But as the day fades away into night ad the stars take their place in the sky, Mokuba remembers his dreams, and realizes, despite his efforts, that the dreams are not meaningless. His days, yes his days go by fine. But at night, Mokuba sees Noa.
Edit:And I just typoed "Hell" as "Heel". XD;;; Wow.