Title: End of Summer
Disclaimer: They're Minekura's, not mine.
Warnings: Character death, BL, Tokitoh's bad words
Author's Note: Well... it had to be done sooner or later, right?
The late summer air felt hot and oppressive, the sound of cicadas grating and irritating, the glare of the setting sun piercing and burning, but they did their best to ignore it all, both of them. For once, Tokitoh didn't complain, for once, Kubota was not apathetic. Together, they sat on the bed, propped against the headboard, Tokitoh in Kubota's lap, his head against Kubota's chest, Kubota's arms tight around his waist. Things had not been nearly this peaceful for a while, but then they had called Kou, and Kou had brought the painkillers. "So that, at least, you can be together for the end," he had explained.
That was the first time it had been put into words, but they had both known, both known for a while now. Unlike the ordinary cases, the fur hadn't spread past Tokitoh's hand, but the pain had gotten more and more frequent and the intensity worse and worse until it got to be too much. He had tried to hide it, making explanations to crouch in a corner, out of sight, until the sharp pains passed, but when it got to be three and four times a day, it had become obvious that Kubota knew, and when it had gotten to be that Tokitoh couldn't even make it out of the bed for the pain that would fluctuate but never really leave from sunrise to sunset, they knew. They didn't speak of it, but they knew.
And so now they sat, propped against the headboard, Tokitoh drugged up with painkillers and Kubota holding onto him so tightly--more so than usual, though not visibly so. They were silent for a while, because what was there to say? But then, finally, Tokitoh spoke, softly, not moving from against Kubota's chest; more of a mumble, than anything: "Hey, Kubo-chan...?"
Kubota stroked Tokitoh's hair in response. "Hm?"
Tokitoh swallowed, pressing his face against Kubota's chest and biting his lips for a moment before he was sure he could speak without crying. "I'm.... 'm gonna miss you."
He felt Kubota's hand stop in his hair and pull his head closer as the arm around his waist tightened again, but no verbal response came. He wasn't expecting one, certainly, and so he continued. After all, this was it, this was the end, there was no other chance after this, so why shouldn't he say what was on his mind?
"...but... I... I won't mind if you... you know... if, once I'm not around anymore, you have someone else, 'r somethin'..." Of course he would mind, but what right did he have to make Kubota lonely for the rest of his life? It was Tokitoh's fault for up and dying in the first place, and he wasn't going to be that selfish.
Kubota, however, shook his head. He still did not speak, and Tokitoh was still unfazed. "Ya know, Kubo-chan... I'm glad that I got to spend all my time with you... If it had been anyone else... it wouldn't a' been the same. I'm glad, Kubo-chan..."
He felt Kubota shake his head again, and this time he looked up, concerned. "Kubo-chan...?"
Kubota was very intentionally not looking at him, very carefully not changing his face. "I never found another lead."
Tokitoh sighed and shook his head, too. "It's not your fault, Kubo-chan."
Kubota did not look at him, did not respond. "It could have been different."
Tokitoh frowned. Rearranging himself, he sat up a little further and put a hand on Kubota's shoulder, pressing a hard kiss to his lips, holding on a moment before pulling away again and looking into Kubota's eyes. "Nothing's your fault, Kubo-chan. I don't want the last things you say to me to be sad. So just... just hold me, okay?"
Kubota looked at him for a moment, then nodded and wrapped his arms around Tokitoh again, tighter, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "All right."
Tokitoh smiled softly, nuzzling into Kubota's shoulder. "Thank you, Kubo-chan."
Silence again for a while, minutes dripping into hours which dripped through their fingers. The sun slowly lowered, decreased in its hot, blinding shine, the cicadas droned on, the air hung heavy, unmoving, unrelenting. They moved minimally, laying, leaning, sitting again. But before long enough, as was bound to happen sooner rather than later, Tokitoh tensed and clenched his jaw and bit his lip for a few minutes before looking up to Kubota with a forced grin. "I think the drugs... the drugs that that creep gave me... 'r wearing off."
Kubota did not speak, but held him tighter, pressing his face into Tokitoh's hair, as if that would help, as if he could hold on to Tokitoh if he didn't let go.
"I guess... shit, Kubo-chan," Tokitoh choked, trembling slightly. "I guess this's it." He sat up slightly, looking into Kubota's eyes. "Sorry... sorry I couldn't hold on longer."
Kubota looked grave, shaking his head. "I don't want you to be in pain."
Tokitoh looked at him a moment longer before doubling over, clenching his fists and squeezing his eyes shut. "Shit! Kubo-chan--!"
Kubota looked on only a moment before pulling Tokitoh into his arms, holding him tightly again. "Hold onto my arm, Tokitoh."
Tokitoh furrowed his brow, looking up at Kubota in confusion. "But, Kubo-chan, then I'm gonna-- I'm gonna hurt you--"
Shaking his head, Kubota pressed a kiss to Tokitoh's lips. "I want you to hold onto me."
Slowly, Tokitoh nodded, then did as told, wrapping his un-gloved right hand around Kubota's wrist. It was only a few minutes before the pain overwhelmed him again, and he clenched his fist, his long thumbnail digging into Kubota's arm. "K-Kubo-chan... are you sure...?"
Kubota nodded, and for the first time, it almost seemed like he was close to tears. Tokitoh smiled to himself as he felt Kubota's arm wrapped tightly around him, his head resting against his own.
There was another long moment, another spasm of pain, before Kubota spoke. "Tokitoh... I..."
Tokitoh looked up into his eyes for a last time, a grin on his lips as the wave of pain subsided. "I know, Kubo-chan. I love you, too."
And then there was a moment of eternity as they looked into each other's eyes, and there really were tears running down Tokitoh's cheeks and it seemed like there might be on Kubota, too, and everything that they had always had together, everything that they had done and felt and been together hung in the hot air between them like some sort of sparkling gem in the dimming evening light. And Tokitoh grinned, and Kubota almost smiled, and it made it seem, for that long, long instant, that everything might be all right.
But then Tokitoh was overwhelmed with another spasm of pain, and he doubled over, curling up in Kubota's lap, and he cried out in pain, once, twice, and dug his nails into Kubota's wrist, and then, all of a sudden, fell very, very limp.
And only then did Kubota cry.
Title: Without Moving On
Disclaimer: Minekura's emo kids are Minekura's.
Warnings: Character death, mentions of BL, dialoge-fic ... etc.
Author's Note: A companion to "End of Summer"... just because.
"Are you busy?"
"You don't have a minute for your uncle?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Come on, I'll buy you a coffee."
"It's not necessary."
"I want to. Come on. At least there's a vending machine over here."
"...I heard about Toki-boy..."
"...Thank you, I suppose."
"What are you going to do now...?"
"... Don't know."
"Keep looking into... ya know?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want me to keep letting you know about leads?"
"That's a nasty cut on your arm."
"Don't want to talk about it?"
"How did you get it?"
"But that was over a month ago, when he--"
"I've reopened it."
"I won't forget him."
And when Kubota turned and walked briskly away, moving past without moving on, Kasai was more worried for him than he had been in a very long time.
Hopefully hopefully hopefully Bus Gamer fic still to come... Yay me going through all of Minekura's works and just fic-ing them up... XD;;;