ミランダ (大丈夫) (faded_lace) wrote,
ミランダ (大丈夫)
faded_lace

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Report: Johnny's Film Festa!

Last weekend and the weekend before, I headed to Tokyo Dome City Hall to see Johnny's Film Festa 2013! This came along with some bitterness and harsh feelings, since I had been hoping to be going to the same venue to see Summary, but because Johnny's is always full of, ahem, surprises, it was not to be. And so, with much apprehension and a little curiosity, I bought my goods (the only choices were a bland uchiwa with the cheesy "Johnny's Island" image, an IC card sticker, and a pamphlet, so at least I saved money) and headed inside.

Our seats on the 17th were in the arena, while our seats on the 24th were on the second balcony. Since I've seen Summary three times now and all three times I was in the third balcony (and twice literally in the worst seats in the house... or not seats, since once was tachimi =___=;) it was nice to get a different view, but for film festa, arena is distinctly not ideal. It's like seeing a movie from the second or third row; you have to intensely crane your neck to see, and I think my neck still hurts from it more than a week later. The second balcony seats were pretty good, though; I'd say center of the first or second balcony is probably ideal!

The movie began with a pre-show message from Hey! Say! JUMP to be polite to the other moviegoers. Naturally, you weren't allowed to have your cell phone on or use recording devices, but the rules got weirder after that so that each JUMP member could get to say something. XD; Keito asked the audience to "talk in whispers" in English, while Takaki reminded the audience to "save the party until you get home." I don't even know what the concern was there. XD;; But then came the actual movie.

The movie opens with Joshima (TOKIO) in the bath, then getting dressed in leopard print boxers (yeah, I didn't need to see that) and a bath robe before going into his living room, which is decorated completely with pictures of his group and of Heikeha. He looks at some Myojo magazines sitting on his coffee table, first at one with Arashi on the cover, then one with KAT-TUN, then one with Kanjani8, and lastly one with Hey! Say! JUMP (aside: I was embarrassed to discover that between yomimashou and I, we own all of the Myojo issues shown |D). His internal monologue displays to the audience that he thinks he's being shown up by all the younger groups and that he'll never have a chance to shine in the limelight again, and so he cooks up a plan to get rid of Hey! Say! JUMP once and for all.

Cut to a recording studio were Hey! Say! JUMP has just wrapped up a session. They come out of the studio to find Joshima waiting for them, and ask him why he's there. He responds by asking them if they know they'll have to renew their Johnny's licenses soon. They all whip out the license cards and see that they expire at the end of 2013. While they have some time, they decide that they should renew soon, and Joshima tells them that they have to go to Johnny's Island to do so. They wonder what sort of island it is, and Yamada jokes that there might be ghosts. Joshima only explains that if you go, you'll understand, but if you never go, you'll never understand. Finally, JUMP agrees to go next Saturday, and they bid Joshima goodbye for the time being.

The following Saturday finds all of JUMP on a pirate ship-esque boat headed for Johnny's island (and from here on out, basically the whole movie is done on a green screen XD). Inoo is seasick, but on the bright side, Hikaru thought ahead and packed a backpack. XD; Finally, they arrive on the island, and meet a "mysterious" man in a suit and sunglasses. They all greet him as "Joshima-kun," but he magically transforms into... Joshima wearing a military-style jacket and hat with a bowl cut wig and announces that his name is Joe. JUMP is disbelieving, but listen as Joe tells them that they need to collect six ~magical orbs in order to renew their license. He then disappears.

JUMP are perplexed by this mission, but look at a nearby map of Johnny's island and decide to split up. Hey! Say! BEST heads towards a forest, while Hey! Say! 7 heads into town. The camera then pans over the edge of a cliff, where Joe(shima) is hanging on, apparently only having made it seem like he disappeared, because he's apparently a really faily villain.

7 arrive in town to find a giant screen on one of the buildings. It turns on and shows them their "first lesson," which is basically a free talk between Johnny's senpai who are newscasters: Kokubun Taichi (TOKIO), Inohara Yoshihiko (V6), Sakurai Sho (Arashi), and Kamenashi Kazuya (KAT-TUN). I'm not going to go into the details of the talk sections, because 1) it's hard to summarize a conversation that basically has no real overarching theme and 2) because I didn't care that much and spaced out/can't remember what was said. |D;; I think the talks are transcribed in the pamphlet, though, so if someone scans the pamphlet, they might be there. ^^

The members of 7 all watch the talk and then, when it's done, an orb comes out of the monitor! Hurray! They've come one step closer to their goal. They notice that the orb has a kanji in it and ponder about the meaning of that, but decide to move ahead. Yamada puts it in his bag, and then they head out to find BEST.

Meanwhile, BEST have gotten the short end of the stick and are in a forest surrounded by creepy giant bugs. Joe is stalking them, and tries to poison them with a poison mushroom in a basket that he makes magically appear in front of them with a note that says "eat this!" Hikaru, being... Hikaru, announces that this is perfect because he was just getting hungry, and grabs the mushroom, taking a big bite. However, despite the rest of BEST freaking out that he's going to die, nothing happened, and perplexed, Joe takes a bite of a similar mushroom that he was holding... and promptly gets violently ill. Apparently he gave Hikaru the wrong mushroom.

BEST gets on their way with Hikaru still munching, until suddenly, Hikaru starts acting weird, slapping his own cheeks and making faces. They ask what's wrong or if he's sick, but he simply responds "the bamboo is glowing." The rest of BEST is puzzled until he points ahead and says again, "the bamboo is glowing," and then they all realize that in front of them there is indeed a glowing bamboo. Hikaru asks if they can see it too, and they all say they can and wonder if they'll find Kaguya-hime... but instead, they hear Okada Junichi. This leads into the second talk segment, with Okada (V6), Ikuta Toma, and Ninomiya Kazunari (Arashi) talking about acting in film.

After the segment is done, BEST receive a second orb, which also has a kanji in it (I totally forget the order they received the various kanji in, so I'm sorry for leaving that detail out >>;). They head out to meet 7, and the two groups reunite in what seems to be the town square. They decide it's time for a snack and all crack out their bentous (Keito giving the wise advice, "An army marches on its stomach" or something like that in English XD) before Joe suddenly appears and, cackling evilly, causes the ground to open up and all of Hey! Say! JUMP to fall to the bottom of a pit.

It's dark, but luckily, Inoo brought a flashlight and turns it on, making a scary face, much to his group's annoyance. They hear a noise and are spooked, but it turns out to just be Yamada clinging to Yabu and proclaiming that "it's scary," and then Hikaru munching away on his lunch still. Suddenly, they hear a voice, and it sounds like Ohno Satoshi! Chinen gets excited and runs towards the sound of the voice, and the others follow.

They show up in a completely white room with Ohno (Arashi) and Yasuda Shota (Kanjani8) standing in odd onee-esque costumes before them. They introduce themselves in stereotypical "gay" voices (and Ohno sang "Come On A My House" with weird lyrics multiple times |D) and then tell Hey! Say! JUMP that this is the drawing class and that Yasu and Ohno will be giving them drawing prompts. JUMP all sit down at the tables prepared for them with crayons, markers, water colours, etc. and wait for their first prompt.

First they're asked to draw a dog, and they do so with varying degrees of success. It's hard to describe their bad drawings, but some highlights include Chinen's dog that he drew lightly because he doesn't like dogs, Yuto's dog with the kanji for "dog" in its nose, Hikaru's cute cartoon dog, and Keito's dog saying "wan!" (Japanese dog onomatopoeia), which he explained was because he had been planning to make a drawing with a burglar that the dog was barking at but he didn't have the time/space on the paper. After they finish with the dogs, Ohno announces that that was just practice, and now they'll have their real drawing test: to draw a picture of Ohno based on one of the promotional photos from Endless Game. They all draw while on the side, a slideshow of some of Ohno's art is shown, and then they each present their artwork. Once again, Hikaru's is fairly good, and the rest of them range from okay to really bad, though Keito's included Ohno saying "I'm leader?" in English, to which Ohno responded, "...Yes, leader," also in English. Ohno comments that they're really good at drawing clothes but not so good at drawing faces, but decides that they've passed the test. Before they go, though, they ask if they can draw "one more thing."

Once they're finished, Ohno and Yasu hand them another orb along with the sketchbook of the "one more thing" they drew and send them on their way. Outside, they're back in the cave-like place they were in before, but this time Joe is waiting for them, annoyed that they've passed yet another challenge. He magically makes bats fly at them, which separates 7 from BEST again in the confusion, but also backfires because the bats then attack Joe. With 7 having suddenly gone missing, BEST wanders in the direction of some music they hear, and are greeted with the next class, the music talk between Nagase Tomoya (TOKIO), Nishikido Ryo (Kanjani8), and Ohkura Tadayoshi (Kanjani8).

Nagase, Nishikido, and Ohkura perform a song with all three singing and playing guitars, then talk some (and each try playing the drums as well), then perform another song before BEST is rewarded for watching with another orb. They then head out to try to find 7.

Meanwhile, 7 seems to have fallen off a cliff. Yuto and Keito cling to ropes for dear life while Yamada seems to be slipping farther and farther down. Chinen, their sole chance for survival, climbs to the top of the rope before helping the others up, as well. This experience seems to have scarred Yamada for life, and he kneels on the ground panting as the others look around. They see a theatre, and decide to go towards it (but have to help Yamada up, because he apparently can't stand or walk on his own. XD) This leads into the next class, the class about stage acting and performing with Higashiyama Noriyuki (Shounentai), Sakamoto Masayuki (V6), Domoto Koichi (Kinki Kids), and Takizawa Hideaki (Tackey & Tsubasa).

After the talk, 7 gets another orb, and just then, BEST catches up with them. The group now has 5 orbs! One more and they'll be done! They then see a structure in the distance with impressive-looking gothic architecture and head there, thinking that maybe this will be the place where they can complete their task.

However, inside, they're stopped by Joe. He has the last orb, but he isn't going to give it to them so easily! Instead, he takes them into some sort of game show, where they have to answer five questions about Johnny's to get the last orb. They ask if there's a time limit, or if there's punishments for wrong answers, but Joe refuses to tell them and begins the game. The first question is "Which group wasn't a volleyball supporter: V6, NEWS, Hey! Say! JUMP, or TOKIO. They answer that it's TOKIO, and are happy the first question was so easy. The next question is to complete the title of the song that often represents Masahiko Kondo: "Gin Gira Gin ______." Again, JUMP easily answers that of course it's "ni Sarigenaku!" Up next, however, is a more difficult question: who is the best at impressions in Hey! Say! JUMP. They decide on Takaki, and then Joe asks Takaki to prove how good he is. Takaki does an impression of Kinpachi-sensei (from Sannen B-kumi Kinpachi-sensei), and Joe says it's "too good" befoe zapping Takaki and making him disappear! Oh no!! It seems like if they get a question wrong, they lose a member. JUMP is upset, and Hikaru says Joe should have better explained the rules before they started. Joe gets angry and makes Hikaru disappear, too, saying that he should respect his senpai (to which JUMP grumbles that "Joe" must be Joshima-kun after all.

JUMP is upset by the loss of their friends and scared of losing more, but they know they have to continue the game, and so they face the next question: which picture is of Joshima after eating really spicy curry? An apathetic face, a happy face, and a pained face are all options, and JUMP isn't sure. Finally, they choose the apathetic face, but are wrong! Apparently, Joshima loves spicy things and would be smiling. They lose Inoo for getting this one wrong, and then when Yabu complains, Joe zaps him, too, because "The Yabu in his heart was smaller" (my personal favourite line from the whole movie! XD)

I'm having trouble remembering the order of the questions after that, but they get asked what SMAP song sold better than "double million," which was naturally "Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana", and which TOKIO PV was not directed by Matsuoka Masahiro. They guess "Ambitious Japan," but the correct answer was "Hana Uta," and they lose Keito, as well. They're also made to guess which drawing of four was done by Joshima, and manage to guess correctly that he was the one who drew only the collar in an "up close" picture when the prompt was to draw a dog. There... was also something that I'm completely forgetting (sorry D:) but they lose Daiki as well, and so at the end, only Yuto, Yamada, and Chinen are left for the last question. Joshima shows them a set of four photos: Matsumoto Jun (Arashi), Joshima, Koichi, and Higashiyama. The question is: Which of these four is the coolest?

Chinen, Yamada, and Yuto quickly come to the consensus that MatsuJun is the coolest, but when Joe gets testy and asks if they're REALLY SURE that they think it's Jun, they reconsider and pick Joshima. This is the correct answer, and so they're all brought back outside, where JUMP is reunited. Joe, now defeated, is on his knees on the ground, but refuses to give up the orb. He says that if he lets JUMP renew their license, they'll outshine him (giving up and revealing that he actually is Joshima) and that new kouhai are ruining Johnny's for their senpai. JUMP says no, that they respect their senpai and think they're really cool, and shower Joshima with flattery to get him to give them the last orb. With all six orbs reunited, their kanji (城- Shiro/Jo, 長 - Naga, 国 - Kuni/Koku, 山 - Yama, 坂 - Saka, and 井 - I) shines before the orbs suddenly fly up into the sky, sparkling.

JUMP are all amazed and confused as one by one, tiny versions of the members of Heikeha descend from the sky, all singing "Ultra Music Power" in strangely deep voices (yeah, I don't even know either.) Yamada realizes that the kanji were to represent the members of Heikeha (Joshima, Nagano, Kokubun, Yamaguchi, Sakamoto, and Inohara), their respected senpai. Heikeha all have encouraging words for JUMP and Joshima, and he magically transforms from Joe into the outfit that the rest of Heikeha are wearing. Thus appeased, he gives JUMP their renewed licenses, and they thank him and tell him again how much they respect him. It seems as if things are going to have a happy ending when a hole in the ground opens up and suddenly Joshima falls into it...

And then Joshima wakes up at his coffee table, clearly having fallen asleep mid-scheme and dreamed the whole thing. While he's coming to, the doorbell rings, and he gets a special delivery (for some reason in the middle of the night...) from JUMP. Inside is the sketchbook they made with Ohno and Yasu, and Joshima looks inside as the ending credits begin to roll. He finds that they each drew a picture of him in various forms (including Keito's which says "I'm Joe!" on it XD) and wrote "thank you!" at the back, and is moved. And... that's the end!

In conclusion... it was really odd, but pretty amusing at the same time? Here's to hoping there's a DVD!
Tags: arashi arashi for dream, report, ultra music power!, yuri is a girls name...
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  • Winter vacation

    It's kind of depressing that this is always what I end up posting to LJ for, but the past few months have been really busy for me, so... that's life,…

  • On my way ♪

    In about 14 hours or so, I'll be on my way back to Japan! I'm annoyed that on this trip I once again missed all the summer music specials, so I'll…

  • Going abroad

    I know I've been terrible about posting recently, but in case there's anyone looking for me, I wanted to drop by and say that I'll be away from Japan…