title: comfortable silence
pairing: Nakajima Kento/Sato Shori
word count: 1,156
author's note: For nekobot01, who's been having a hard time of it lately. I hope this can cheer you up even just a little! ♥
summary: It all feels off and wrong, because Kento doesn't have bad days.
Kento sighs heavily as he falls into the sofa in Sexy Zone's dressing room at NHK hall. Hey! Say! JUMP is out of town for a concert tour, and as a result, Sexy Zone has gotten one of the nicer rooms to themselves rather than being mixed in with the juniors their age; Kento usually doesn't mind the big room, bustling with excitement and energy, overflowing with the admiration of his kouhai, but today, he's grateful for the privacy. His groupmates are all off elsewhere, Marius and Sou and Shori probably off having fun with their junior friends, while Fuma is likely with Kouchi and Hokuto and their group, leaving Kento alone, and normally, Kento hates solitude, hates being left alone without someone to talk to, someone to laugh at his jokes, someone to appreciate his presence in some way or another… but right now, he just doesn't have the energy.
And it's all a little odd, feels off and wrong, because Kento doesn't have bad days. Sure, he has days where his notes come out a little flatter than usual when he sings, days when he slips up once or twice on the piano, days when his hair doesn't lay quite right or his costume gets askew or he gets a scuff on one of his shoes. But this doesn't happen, times when he just wants to burrow into a corner and hide his face from the world, because what is Kento if he isn't proud and confident and glitteringly fabulous at every second? It's like a kick in the gut while he's already down, knowing that simply feeling this way is already making things worse, but somehow, he can't help it, because nothing's gone right today, not from the moment he woke up, groggy and sleep-deprived, until he finally arrived at NHK hall, drenched from a sudden storm and having received a less-than-stellar test result at school and hungry after rushing around all day without time to have much more than a banana and a cup of coffee at lunch time. After everything that's happened to him over the course of the day, it feels as if his anxiety and tenseness has become white noise, a ringing in his ears that's driving him insane, and by now, it seems like nothing can make it stop. Luckily, he's managed to arrive a few minutes before call, which leaves him a good hour and a half before filming begins, but even then, it doesn't feel like he'll ever be able to garner the energy to perform. He knows that usually performing is what gets his spirits up again, but right now, he can't even find the willpower to care-- all he wants to do is lay down and feel sorry for himself.
It's probably not a healthy reaction and it's certainly not a productive one, but Kento has never really been one for putting the qualifications of other people above what he wants in the moment, and so he slouches further into the couch, dropping his head back against the cushions and letting his eyes fall shut. He's too strung up to sleep despite how tired he is, and so he sighs, sinking further and further into himself as he tries to find any sort of energy to face the world. It's rough when he can't even seem to find the energy to pull himself off the couch and put on his costume and get ready for the stage, though, and without even his usual enthusiasm for the stage, he doesn't really know what else he has to stand on, what else he could possibly have with which to pull himself together.
But before he can wallow much longer in his own lack of drive, suddenly, he feels a weight next to him on the couch and a warm body against his own and a head on his shoulder, and he's startled because he's been so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear the door open, didn't even hear footsteps. But when he opens his eyes, there's Shori beside him, leaning against him, and despite how tired Kento is, despite how closed off from the rest of the world he feels right now, he can't deny that it feels good.
Shori has his eyes closed, but he hums slightly when Kento shifts against him, and somehow, the simplicity of it, as if this is completely normal, as if Shori is completely at ease with him, gives Kento the strength to at least pull himself into a slightly more presentable sitting position, upright enough to really be a shoulder for Shori to lean on, at least. Shori hums again, nuzzling his cheek against Kento's arm and shifting as well to adjust to the movement. He doesn't speak, and so Kento doesn't either, unsure of what to say, of what Shori's thinking. But the closeness feels good, even in his current state of mind, especially in his current state of mind, and so Kento doesn't question it, only leans into Shori a little and rests his head against Shori's.
Shori's calm and quiet, his body relaxed against Kento's, smelling clean and like soap and shampoo in his school uniform, and Kento can't help but feel himself relax a little as well, the tenseness easing out of his limbs and the negative slowly but surely falling away from his thoughts. It's sort of amazing, really, he muses as he finds his lips curling into something like a contented smile, but, he supposes, this is what it means to have groupmates, this is what it means to have someone in his life as special as Shori.
Kento isn't sure how much time passes that way, just the two of them in comfortable silence, but eventually, enough of his presence of mind has come back to him that he knows if they don't get changed soon, they'll be in trouble, and so finally, he tilts his head to look down at Shori, smiling a little as he speaks. "What's up?" he asks quietly, lifting his arm behind Shori's back to ruffle Shori's hair a little affectionately.
"I'm here for you," Shori answers simply without moving from his position, though while it's hard from his angle, Kento thinks he can see a smile on his lips. "When you came in, you were too lonely to see it, so… I decided to show you."
His words make no sense, but yet somehow, they made perfect sense to Kento at the same time, and he can't help but smile now, really smile, something that seemed impossible only a half hour ago. They need to get into costume, get to hair and makeup, prepare for the stage, but all Kento does is lean back into Shori, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "Thanks," he murmurs, and thinks, come what may, everything else can wait a little bit longer.