Disclaimer: Saiyuki isn’t mine, goshdamnit!
Rating: PG…I think
Warnings: Yaoi/shounen ai/BL, depending on your terminology, death, depressingness, vague contradictory to science
Author’s note: I get in these moods where I just want to kill Saiyuki characters…not literally, of course, but I get inspirated to write fics where they die…it only happens when I’m depressed, though. Also, PRETEND THAT THE CHEMISTY MAKES SENSE! I know it doesn’t, but maybe it’s special chemisty in the Saiyuki world. Shhhh, okay? Allow yourself to believe it.
Four men awaited death.
It had been a simple cave-in to put them in their current predicament; the limestone beneath the ground they were driving on had been worn away by years of water erosion, and the weight of the jeep broke through. They had all fallen; Jeep had lost his life trying to protect them. His tiny body had been crushed under the weight of the rocks.
As for the ikkou themselves, they had dodged into an underground cave to keep from befalling the same fate as their beloved vehicle, but, as a result, had become trapped. The only exit had been sealed off by falling rocks, their only light supplied by Hakkai’s chi.
And now they sat, battered and bruised from trying to escape, counting down the time. Hakkai had informed them that the process of dissolving the rock produced carbon monoxide, which, in the contained space, was quite lethal. And if that didn’t get to them, the eventual lack of oxygen would.
The first response, of course, was Sanzo’s gun. A quick, easy way out, and Goku assured them all that he would rather die by Sanzo’s hands than those of a stupid cave. However, Sanzo had dismally informed them that he had no remaining bullets. And so, with Goku and Hakkai refusing to kill anyone by hand, the four were left to natural means.
They all sat in silence for a while. It was hard to accept their fate; after all they had been through. It was strange, really, as they had all know that their chance of dying was extremely high and yet none of them had really expected this.
And then Hakkai had started laughing. They had assumed it was the stress, he had been keeping a constant ball of light for them to see by, but then he had spoken.
“Remember the time we fell off that cliff?”
None of them had responded right away. Then Goku began to laugh also. Gojyo and Sanzo stared as Goku added, “Right into a lake.”
Suddenly, Gojyo chuckled and nodded. “That was the time we met the chick…Shunrei, wasn’t it? And she laughed at us.”
Sanzo finally cracked, and smirked. “We must’ve looked like complete numbskulls.”
There was silence for a moment as they all remembered, before Goku spoke again. “It’s too bad.”
“What is?” Hakkai asked, leaning back against the cave walls. He appeared slightly pressured.
“I kinda wanted to see what the west was like,” Goku said softly. Gojyo scoffed.
“It was probably really shitty anyway.”
Goku nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Silence returned, and remained in the air for some time. There was nothing really to say, and air was precious. Not that any of them really felt like living any longer than they had to.
It seemed strange to all of them though, that their personalities had seemed to change since this accident when, in reality, they were only just opening up. There were no death threats, no arguing, and no fake smiles. There was only silence.
Hakkai was the first to go. It wasn’t surprising, since he had been supplying light since the accident. His breath got shallower, and he slumped over with the loss of strength. He smiled softly and said, “I believe it’s my turn first.”
Tears had welled up in Goku’s eyes at this proclamation, and Sanzo looked away. Gojyo pulled Hakkai into his arms and held him, shaking slightly, until Hakkai whispered, “Thank you, Gojyo. You know I love you,” and drew his last breath.
It wasn’t that the light had been producing any heat, but, with its disappearance, the cave seemed to go cold. The only sound to break the silence was a soft choke from Gojyo, and Goku and Sanzo noticed tears falling to wash the face of the lifeless body still in his arms.
After a few seconds, he laughed wryly. “Well, this is it, I guess.” Sanzo and Goku looked up in surprise. “Already?!” Goku asked unsteadily at the announcement, and Gojyo nodded.
“Guess I had you all fooled, but there’s no denying it. I’m up next.” He gave Sanzo and Goku a quick grin, then said, “It’s been real. So long, Mr. Monkey, Mr. Worldy Priest. Guess I’ll be seeing you in the next life.” And with that, Gojyo leaned back and closed his eyes, and did not open them again.
And suddenly, the cave felt very, very empty. It was like all forms of life had disappeared from existence. Silence filled the air again, until Goku felt his breath growing short.
“Hey, Sanzo?” His voice sounded breathless.
“I think…I think I’m gonna…be going soon…” Sanzo looked very, very hurt as Goku slouched back against the cave wall. “I’m runnin’ out of energy…”
Sanzo looked like he was going to reply, but Goku spoke again. “I love you.”
Sanzo paused. “…I love you, too.”
There was silence again for a few seconds before Goku spoke up again. “Hey Sanzo?”
“Chant a sutra for me, please.”
Sanzo looked at the boy beside him. “What?”
Slowly and tentatively, Goku leaned over onto Sanzo’s shoulder. “I want to die hearing your voice. You are my sun, after all.” Goku paused to look up at the man. “So will you do it? Please, Sanzo?”
Sanzo wrapped an arm around Goku and smiled slightly. “All right.”
And so Sanzo began, spending his last breaths on Goku’s final wish. And even when he felt Goku’s heart stop and his body go limp, he continued to speak, until he, too was slipping away.
And then, finally, Sanzo was gone, chasing after his companions to await rebirth. After all, when he chanted a sutra, it certainly wasn’t for the dead.