title: The Best Medicine
pairing: Miyachika Kaito/Iwahashi Genki
word count: 1,230
author's note: Written for britkit27's request in this meme! As such, it's a companion to It's hard to dance with a devil on your back and falling, meant to be read third, but I'm maybe hoping to put something in between the second installment and this.
summary: It's amazing just how much difference a little love can make.
It's really amazing, Genki thinks sometimes, how ill he manages to make himself before shows. It's like a skill, or something, the way his mind can blend a little anxiety and a few negative memories and somehow come up with signals to the rest of his body that leave him huddled in the bathroom for hours or, at the very least, popping stomach medicine tablets like candy. It's just one of those things, he thinks, one of those little ironies of life that show just how much of a failure he is; when he needs to pull his thoughts together and just push through, whether it's rehearsals where he's afraid of failure or late-night studying before an exam, he just can't do it, but when it comes to making himself physically ill, he's an ace. Sort of like if falling was a skill, rather than dancing, he'd understand why he'd been placed in the front of the choreography, or if being in the wrong place was an art form, he'd be constantly receiving the choreographers' praise, rather than their ire. He can tell they're frustrated with him, frustrated with the loud and clear message from Johnny's that he is to be pushed whether they like it or not, despite the fact that he has nothing to offer. He tries to show them that he can do it, that at the very least, he can not mess up, but messing up is all he's good at.
And so it all builds up in his mind time and time again, before each show, and leaves him huddled in the corner of his assigned dressing room for Johnny's 2020 World with only a book of kanji (he needs to study, even in this state) and his bottle of medicine for company. It's lonely, but who'd want to sit around with him when all he's good for is making himself ill? It's not even like he's really sick; it's all in his own head, but he can't seem to turn it off, no matter how hard he tries, and so while he hears laughter down the hall, he doesn't hold it against his friends for having fun without him. He'd rather be having fun than spending time with himself, too, but unfortunately, he doesn't have a choice. But there's no point in wallowing in his own failure, and so he curls up a little more into himself and closes his eyes, trying to take deep breaths and think calming thoughts for the time being.
After a few minutes, he hears the door to the dressing room open, and assumes that it's someone coming back for their chapstick or sweatshirt or something. Whoever it is probably won't notice him at all, and so he doesn't move or open his eyes, waiting to be returned to solitude. But instead, the footsteps slow down for a moment, stopping altogether before picking up again a moment later, moving closer and closer to Genki. He isn't sure what's going on-- perhaps the others are pranking him, or perhaps some younger junior is alarmed and thinks he's dead or something, but he's not sure what to do, and because confrontation is scary, especially for someone so useless and so often confronted by his own failures as Genki, he decides to just leave his eyes closed.
He's not really sure what he's expecting-- perhaps for the person to speak, or perhaps for them to simply walk away again-- but whatever he's expecting, it certainly isn't the sudden sensation of familiar lips against his own, and his eyes snap open just in time to see Miyachika pulling away, grinning at him like the Cheshire cat.
"I mistook you for Sleeping Beauty," Miyachika says, presumably in explanation, before chuckling a bit at his own words as if they're the cleverest thing he's ever heard. Maybe Genki is just slow, but he doesn't really understand the comparison when he's ugly and unappealing, especially in this state, but he doesn't have a chance to say anything before Miyachika holds out a bottle of soda to Genki. This is also lost on Genki, and it clearly shows on his face, because Miyachika laughs again, gesturing for Genki to take the bottle. "It's ginger ale. Isn't that supposed to help with stomach aches?"
Genki's heard that before, too, and slowly, it all comes together. Miyachika has apparently gone to the vending machine specifically for him and gotten a drink specifically for him and come looking specifically for him… because for some reason, even after all Genki's failures, for some reason, Miyachika likes him. For some reason, in fact, Miyachika has been dating him for more than three months now, and while Genki still can't wrap his mind around it, can't wrap his mind around the fact that the events of Dream Boys and ABC-Za that had felt so much like the world ending at the time have somehow given way to this, but every time he doubts too much, Miyachika always sweeps him off his feet in yet a new way, and this is no exception.
Genki's face must be one of shock, because after a moment of silence, Miyachika quirks an eyebrow, grinning at him. "I did good, right?" he asks, despite the fact that he already knows the answer, and Genki manages to convince himself at least for the time being that he's not dreaming and smiles. "Yes!" he replies quickly with a nod, accepting the soda from Miyachika. "Thank you!"
"What are boyfriends for?" Miyachika replies, moving to sit beside Genki and slide an arm around him, pulling Genki into his side and allowing Genki to tuck his head into the crook of Miyachika's neck. It never stops surprising Genki the way they fit together perfectly like this, despite the fact that Miyachika is so wonderful and talented and Genki is anything but wonderful or talented, but Miyachika's arm around him is more than he could ever have dreamed of, and so he doesn't question. Still, he can't help but blush when Miyachika adds, "All those older women in the audience can dream about it, but I'm the only one who gets to baby you in real life!"
The words make Genki blush, but he nods into Miyachika's shoulder, because he wouldn't want it any other way, and giggles a little. Miyachika always says these things bluntly, and maybe it's a good thing, because there's no way Genki would believe any of it were true if Miyachika didn't tell him so multiple times a day. Despite his embarrassment at the sweet words, despite that fact that he's unused to the little physical signs of affection that come along with having a boyfriend, he really likes them, likes every surprise, every change, every moment of getting used to this in a way that Genki has never liked (never been able to even deal with) the unknown before.
Still, he can't help that his cheeks are burning, that his heart is pitter-pattering away in his chest… but then, he realizes, despite the fact that he's only taken a sip or two of the ginger ale, his stomach feels fine. Somehow, in the midst of being wrapped up in Miyachika's attentions and his embrace and his pure, simple, unabashed affection, Genki has forgotten all his anxiety for the show, and it's amazing, he thinks, just how much difference a little love can make.