pairings: Koyama Keiichiro x Tegoshi Yuya
warnings: This, while is lighthearted and silly, is about drunken partying, so if that might offend you, please read with discretion!
word count: 865
author's note: Shige mentioned recently that he abstained from alcohol for the entirety of the Quartetto tour for some reason. Considering the stories about what happened while the other members were drunk, I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Written for shiritori @ writetomyheart!
summary: Shige thinks, no amount of alcohol could make him drunk enough to handle this.
"Protective much?" Shige asks dryly with a raised eyebrow as he sips his non-alcoholic beer and watches Koyama clutch Tegoshi's body tightly to his chest. They're out for drinks after a concert as usual, and unsurprisingly, less than two beers in, Tegoshi has found his way into Koyama's lap, pressing kisses to his forehead and cheeks and lips every once in a while, but unlike in past tours, Shige doesn't feel significantly equipped to deal with this shit… because for some reason, at the beginning of the tour, he'd decided that this year, he was going to abstain from alcohol until the last concert in Tokyo Dome was finished. What with all the early mornings and late nights required during a concert tour, it had seemed like a great idea back in March, but now, he's deeply regretting the choice.
"Of course I have to be protective!" Koyama practically wails, the last few gulps of his fourth or fifth drink (Shige isn't sure totally sober, and he'd be willing to bet that Koyama has no idea how many drinks he's had at this point, he's so far gone) sitting on the table beside him, forgotten in his sudden emotional outburst. "He's so cute!! He's too cute! If I let go someone's going to steal him…!!"
Koyama punctuates his statement with another squeeze of Tegoshi's body and follows it up by lifting one hand to start petting Tegoshi's hair as if he were a pet rather than Koyama's boyfriend, but for his part, Tegoshi doesn't seem to mind. He leans into Koyama's petting for a moment or two before reaching out and swiping Koyama's forgotten beer from the table, finishing it off himself. From across the table, Massu comments, "You can't tell if he's your boyfriend or your pet," slurredly, finishing off his beer as well and gesturing vaguely with the empty mug. "I'm pretty sure I've heard Nagase-kun say similar things about his cat," he adds authoritatively, and Shige curses the fact that he's sober.
"Yuya is way cuter than Nagase-kun's cat!" Koyama shrieks somewhat alarmingly shrilly, looking from Massu to Shige defensively, as if they might force him to supply evidence that Tegoshi is the cutest of them all. Massu laughs again, but Shige can't help but wince, covering his ears and hoping that Koyama isn't drunk enough yet that this will set off tears. Luckily, he doesn't seem to have reached that point yet; instead, he's moved from petting Tegoshi's hair to his cheek, something Tegoshi looks slightly less happy about. If he wasn't so annoyed, Shige would probably laugh at Tegoshi's put out expression, but instead, he rolls his eyes, remarking, "'Yuya,' is it, now? When are you going to send out the wedding invitations?"
However, he immediately regrets it when Koyama's eyes begin to shimmer with a watery gleam. "Johnny-san won't let us get married until 2022!!" he wails after a moment, making Shige flinch again at the volume, "We have to wait in line, and it's so long from now, and what if someone steals him before that?!?!"
"Seriously, who is it that you're picturing 'stealing' your boyfriend?" Shige counters, which seems to perplex Koyama into silence for a moment, though he doesn't quit petting Tegoshi's face in a way that's begun to make Tegoshi squirm. It really is reminiscent of Koyama and Nyanta, who doesn't always take kindly to all the love Koyama wants to shower him with… or, sometimes more accurately, smother him with. "I really can't imagine anyone successfully 'stealing' Tegoshi," he can't help but add after a moment as he watches Tegoshi eventually elbow Koyama in the face in his attempts to get free of the petting before clumsily and none-too-gently clambering out of Koyama's lap only to rotate himself one hundred and eighty degrees and drop back on top of Koyama's thighs inelegantly. Shige is less alarmed by Tegoshi's actions, however, and more by the lovestruck expression that comes over Koyama's features when Tegoshi's elbow impacts with his cheek in a way that Shige can't imagine is anything but painful.
But he's distracted from his morbid fascination when Tegoshi cheerfully backs him up with an eager nod. "Don't worry, Kei-chan~" he chimes, looking somewhat pleased with himself at the way Koyama is still rubbing his cheek from where Tegoshi's elbow had hit him, "If anyone tries to steal me, I'll bite 'em!"
While Shige would have thought this might be calming to Koyama, even in his drunkenly limited mental capacities, instead, Koyama lets out another startling hysterical cry, throwing his arms around Tegoshi again and emphatically pulling him close, this time smashing Tegoshi's face into his chest. "Nooooooo!" he wails, real tears pooling in his eyes and streaming down his face to accent his expression of pure horror. Massu gets up and walks out of the room without saying a word as Tegoshi begins to squirm again against what must be a seriously uncomfortable position, but Koyama doesn't even seem to notice. "Yuya isn't allowed to bite anyone but me!" he sobs, clutching Tegoshi to his chest even tighter, and, Shige thinks, no amount of alcohol could make him drunk enough to handle this.