Disclaimer: I don’t own Saiyuki
Warnings: Shounen ai, depressigness
Word Count: 155
Author’s note: I can’t possibly write anything happy right now. I’m sorry. I was going to work on “Let it Go,” but that’s no longer possible. Maybe later. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I wanted to try an alternate quotations marker. Hope it’s not distracting.
I smile. You turn your head slightly to look at me; a worried expression comes across your face. It upsets me to see you worried, but I can’t say anything besides, ‘Gojyo?’
‘What’s wrong?’ you ask me, taking a step closer and looking even more concerned.
My breath hitches as I tell you, ‘Nothing.’ I am forced to look away. I might do something regrettable.
‘You’re lying.’ You turn away as you say it, tugging at my heartstrings. It hurts; you’re torturing me, and yet you don’t know it. You think you’re helping.
‘Ah, Gojyo, it’s nothing,’ I say to your back. You look over your shoulder for a second at me.
‘Whatever,’ you say, giving me a look that I don’t comprehend.
And I just smile at you. After all there’s nothing else I can do. It’s my response to pain. It’s a mechanism that I’ve turned on. And I cannot turn it off.