title: Give Up
pairing: Kusano Hironori x Kato Shigeaki; some background Koyama x Tegoshi
warning: It's pretty innocuous in my opinion, but it is generally linked to the scandals, so if that might upset or offend you, please read with discretion.
word count: 1,039
author's note: This is a late, short reaction to all the crap that went down with NEWS in June. Not really anything about the incidents themselves, but just my hope as a fan that Shige had someone supporting him. ;__; Written for shiritori @ writetomyheart!
summary: No matter how much Shige wants to feel like the main character in his own tragedy novel sometimes, he knows that Kusano won’t let him, and perhaps that’s for the better.
“Give up!” Shige barks, throwing his arms up as he turns back to face Kusano, who stands in the genkan looking timid. He’d known that this was all a ploy to get him out of his house from the moment the LINE notification informing him that Kusano had texted him a deeply profound message of “sup, u free?” about an hour ago, but some part of him had wanted to believe that maybe it was something else, and so against his better judgement, he’d replied that he was working from home and Kusano was welcome to join him if he could keep himself occupied. Given that he’d said he wasn’t free to go out, he’d thought that if Kusano really had been planning to try to get him to leave the house, he’d have given up at that point, but yet, he’d replied about fifteen minutes later that he was on his way, and then once he’d arrived, the door had barely shut behind him and he was already asking if Shige didn’t want to go out and “get his mind off things.”
Shige knew what he meant— that Shige was probably shut up inside his apartment because he was depressed and upset about the scandal, and that all he needed in order to feel better was to have his boyfriend show up, romantic comedy style, and drag him out and make him forget about his troubles. Kusano was a simple human being, so of course he’d think that Shige’s problems could be solved by such a simple solution. He knew, as well, that Kusano meant well, but right now, with what felt like a thousand deadlines just around the corner, drama filmings and promotions daily, and the media ready to leap down his throat at the hint of any further indiscretion, he doesn’t have it in him to respond diplomatically. And so, when Kusano had followed up his greeting with, “So, uh, do you wanna go out together in a bit, to get your mind off things…” Shige hadn’t been able to contain his reaction.
And so, “Just give up!” he snaps, turning back to Kusano, who looks as much like a scolded child as someone with a full mustache possibly can. “I know that you mean well, but I absolutely cannot deal with this right now. Go bother Koyama if you really want to make someone feel better, because I don’t have the time.”
“…Koyama has Tegoshi to support him, so I just thought…” Kusano replies weakly, peering up at Shige earnestly. Shige can’t take that expression; he knows that it’s his Achilles heel, so looks away.
“Tegoshi is in fucking Russia,” he shoots back, though that’s really beside the point, and he knows it. “Now if you’re going to shut up and mind your own business you can stay, but otherwise, get the hell out.”
“…Okay…” Kusano replies quietly, biting his lip, and Shige knows that he’s out of line; that even if Kusano’s actions aren’t the most considerate, they’re coming from a place of caring about Shige, but right now, he doesn’t have the emotional fortitude to deal with that fact. And so, instead of apologizing like an adult, he sighs heavily and skulks back to his study, because his next deadline is coming whether he likes it or not, and his book isn’t going to write itself.
He’s marginally aware of Kusano scuffing into the living room and flopping down on the sofa, but then he turns his attention to his work, because sometimes, as difficult as writing is, dealing with his own feelings is worse. But soon enough, he’s immersed in what he’s doing, and then his mind shifts from his own life problems to much more appealing challenges of plot and wording, and when he glances at the clock, he’s surprised to find that an hour and a half have passed… and he hasn’t heard from Kusano even once.
He’s almost worried that Kusano has died or something for how unusual it is for him to be able to remain silent for an hour and a half, but at just that moment, footsteps on the hardwood and a timid cough from the doorway of the study alert Shige to the fact that Kusano is, indeed, very much alive, and that an hour and a half of silence must be his absolute limit.
“Um… sorry to bother you while you’re working…” Kusano starts quietly, in a tone that makes Shige feel seriously guilty for how he’d behaved an hour and a half earlier. “But, um, what I really meant to say before is that, uh, I just really wanna make you feel better, so… if there’s anything I can do, like… bring food from the conbini, or make something, or…”
And as Kusano begins to launch into a rambling explanation of how he’d be happy to cook for Shige instead of going out, only he’s really bad at cooking, and Shige doesn’t really like him to use his kitchen, and he doesn’t want to stress Shige out, Shige can’t help but smile, no matter how angry or annoyed or guilty he’d felt. Because no matter how much he wants to feel like the main character in his own tragedy novel sometimes, he knows that Kusano won’t let him, and perhaps that’s for the better.
And so, “I give up,” he says with a half-laugh, getting up from behind his computer and moving towards Kusano in the doorway.
“You… what?” Kusano asks, looking perplexed, and Shige can practically see the wheels in his head turning, a fact which is admittedly annoying at times, but also undeniably something Shige really loves about him.
“I give up on moping,” he replies, reaching where Kusano stands in the doorway and leaning in to kiss him gently on the cheek, “So… go ahead and cheer me up.”
Kusano’s look of surprise melting into delight is, Shige has to admit, nothing short of wholly endearing, and as he throws his arms around Shige and practically yells, “I’ll do my best!!” Shige can’t help but feel that he’s been made to feel a little bit better already.