Warnings: NONCON!! So don't read it if you're going to get all moral-y on me. This certainly isn't saying it's a good thing, so don't flip out. Besides that, graphic m/m sex, yaoi, angst....etc.
Algernon sat dispassionately strumming his fingers against the polished surface of the desk in front of him. He’d just arrived that morning after a brief visit to Percy’s manner and a little chat with Donavan D’Aubigne. His newest plan for the little runt of a Warrant Officer was particularly perfect, but still he felt distracted. Something was missing. Perhaps it was due to his own desire to monitor the change he knew would occur in the boy; he wanted to measure the difference first hand. Thus resolved, he called in an enlisted man and sent him to fetch Warrant Officer Christian.
Niles stood outside the General Commandant's office nervously, hesitating before knocking on the door. He had been sent for earlier in the day, and was both curious and apprehensive to know what the Commandant wanted with him. Dragomir had been a wreck about it, telling him not to go and trying to find ways out of it, but Niles knew there was no way out. The General Commandant was in complete control of the military, and Niles knew what he said had to happen.
Still, it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Niles had learned from his previous visits, he knew the Commandant's tricks, and he wasn't going to fall for them. He knew Dragomir loved him, and would never be convinced otherwise, and he now knew better than to accept any food or drink. He, for once, felt almost confident, prepared, as he stood facing those elegant, intimidating doors. Taking a deep breath, he told himself that everything would be all right before knocking firmly.
“Come in,” Algernon called, putting on a smile as he stood and walked around to the front of his desk to greet the Warrant Officer. He was very interested to see just what sort of a state Christian was in currently, and intended to take a full assessment of his condition. Perhaps, additionally, before M. D’Aubigne had his fun, Algernon would enjoy himself a bit and see what he could do to shake the trust the Warrant Officer had in his Capitan. He knew it would only make what was to follow all the more enjoyable—Niles Christian would soon crumble and bend to his will.
Niles came inside cautiously and he shut the door behind him before dropping into a deep bow and waiting a bit of time before rising. He tried his hardest to smile pleasantly despite his fears as he addressed the General Commandant, holding his confidence that he could stay strong. "You sent for me, sir?"
“Ah yes, Warrant Officer Christian,” Algernon said mildly as though he hadn’t been waiting for him. “How good of you to come. I trust you’re doing well?” Algernon moved to the sitting area and slid into a chair. “Please have a seat,” He gestured to the sofa across from him and waited as Niles made his way over before offering him refreshments. “Would you like anything to drink, or something to eat, perhaps?” He had a feeling Niles would refuse, but offered nevertheless. On this particular occasion, Algernon had no intention of drugging Niles, but it would be a waste not to at least offer confections.
Niles smiled and shook his head politely. "No, thank you," he declined; he wouldn't fall for that again. "And I am well, thank you, sir, as I hope you are?" He sat carefully across from the General, making sure to stay alert. He wouldn't be tricked this time, he wouldn't fall for anything. Though he was intimidated, he knew he could do this. He smiled his best, waiting for the General Commandant to get to his point.
Algernon smiled stiffly as he put the spare tea things aside and poured himself a cup, stirring it lightly as the Warrant Officer responded. “I’m very glad to hear that.” Algernon nodded, taking a sip of his tea and purposefully leaving the question unanswered. “I felt I should check on you. I can’t help but feel concerned for your well being.” Algernon set down the teacup and looked carefully at Niles. “I know things have been difficult for you…it’s hard to be so alone, isn’t it?”
Niles bit his lip and shook his head. "Sir...I'm not alone. Thank you so much for your concern, but, really, things have been all right for me." He smiled, hoping that the Commandant would drop the topic and nothing would go for the worst this time.
“You poor child.” Algernon murmured, lifting his cup again to his lips and draining it. “It pains me to see you so deluded.” He crossed his legs neatly and set the cup aside, leaning forward slightly. “I don’t think it’s healthy for you to allow yourself to become so involved in these fancies you indulge.” He moved carefully over next to the Warrant Officer and put a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. “I know it’s difficult, but you need to learn to face reality. You’re being used.”
Niles nearly shivered when he felt the General's hand on his shoulder; the skin wasn't cold in itself, but somehow, the touch was chilling. He didn't understand why the General Commandant was so concerned with turning him against Dragomir, and it scared him that someone he didn't even know was so intent on his life. Still, he didn't know what to do besides tell the truth, so he shook his head again. "Sir...with all due respect, sir, I really don't think that's the case. Thank you for your concern, but...I don't think it's true."
“Oh?” Algernon feigned surprise. “Though I do wish you all the best, I cannot stand by and watch as your relationship unfolds in such an unhealthy matter.” Algernon allowed his hand to slide from Christian’s shoulder, and folded it into his other hand, looking down with concern. “Perhaps, I’m sorry to say, you’re unable to recognize the truth.” He put just enough edge to his tone to make it clear for his cousin, but once again filled his voice with the same sugary sweetness as he continued. “That Capitan…Dragomir Hirlea,” as if the poor child didn’t know to whom he was referring, “Has you so enraptured that you are no longer capable of realizing what he’s doing to you.” Algernon knit his brows and looked back up at the Warrant Officer, lightly brushing his hand with his own. “Whatever it is that he’s done to you, said to you, I’m afraid it’s all been a lie.”
Niles fidgeted uncomfortably, not really knowing what to do. Why was the General Commandant so bent on making him distrust Dragomir? Still, he had to stay strong; he had to hold his ground. "Sir...I...I'm really grateful for your advice, but I don't think that's the truth. I don't think...I don't really think he's doing anything to me that isn't right. He's never been anything but honest with me before, sir. But I am taking what you're saying into consideration, sir, really, and thank you for your concern." He wanted so badly to be out of there, to be away from the General Commandant's saccharine-sweet words and icy touch, but there was nothing he could do about it but stay strong.
“My dear child,” Algernon soothed, beginning to feel impatient with his cousin’s adamant refusal to accept his concern, “Can you really know how truthful the Capitan is with you? He manipulates you to the point that you believe everything he tells you.” This time, Algernon took the Warrant Officer’s hand in his own, and moved in a little closer to him. “Your naivety makes you an easy target…” He said gravely, running his other hand over Christian’s cheek. “He’s using you for his own personal gains—his own pleasures.” Algernon paused, studying his cousin’s features and smirking inwardly. “But I want to help you, if you can find it in yourself to let me.”
His hands were cold; that was all Niles could think for a moment, to wish that the General would move his cold hands. He tried to think so something else to say, some way to get out of this without decision, but he couldn't. Besides, the General Commandant was saying such horrible, terrible things about Dragomir, things Niles absolutely knew were not true. He had to say something, for Dragomir, if not for himself. "Sir, I really am grateful for your offer, but I really must decline...I know he cares about me, and I trust him." He hoped that the Commandant would understand and would let him go.
Algernon’s jaw set unconsciously as he took the Warrant Officer’s face in his hand, moving closer still, and edging his hand up his cousin’s arm, gripping it tightly. He could tell that the foolish child wanted to leave, but Algernon wouldn’t allow it. Christian was under his control, and he would keep it that way; he’d maintain his sway over him no matter what it took to undue the confidence he held in his Capitan. He’d lose his faith—Algernon would see to it. “Your trust is sadly misplaced.” Algernon said sharply, digging his nails into the Warrant Officer’s arm. “You’re a pathetic, foolish child to reject my offer. You’d do well to reconsider what you’re saying.” Algernon released Christian’s face roughly but did not loosen his grip. He tried to reestablish his former tone, but found it difficult though his voice did not sound forced. “My dear child, you had better think carefully before you speak”
Niles winced in pain as he felt the Commandant's grip tighten and his nails dig in. He could hardly bring himself to meet the General's eyes again, he was suddenly gripped by fear of the icy look he was giving him. Niles wanted to run, wanted to get away somehow, but he couldn't. He knew he couldn't struggle out of the Commandant's grip, it was far too tight, and there was no real way he could excuse himself, anyway. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't force any words out. Not that he really had anything to say, anyway, he could barely think at all, not to mention think carefully, before he spoke. He was frightened of what the General Commandant might do to him, and so all he could do was shake his head, frightened, however the General might take that.
Sensing the Warrant Officer’s fear, a smirk formed on Algernon’s lips. Though it was not the reaction he’d initially intended to draw, the control he held over the pathetic child was invigorating. He’d silenced his cousin’s feeble defense of his Capitan—how easily the Warrant Officer’s will could be bent. “There, there, my poor child. Don’t be afraid.” Algernon cooed. “It was not my intention to frighten you…” Algernon moved slowly, deliberately, over the Warrant Officer, startling him as he curled his fingers around his cousin’s other arm, pinning him against the back of the sofa. “I mean only to protect you.” Algernon whispered, pressing a kiss to the Warrant Officer’s cheek as he imagined what it would be like to ruin the perfect, tender skin.
Niles paled, not sure what to do and completely afraid. With the Commandant sitting over him like this menacingly, and with both of his arms pinned back against the sofa, he was completely trapped and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He had the feeling, that, even though the General said he didn't intent to frighten him, he wasn't telling the truth, because Niles was terrified. He was completely in the General Commandant's control, and the look in his eyes frightened him. As he felt the lips press against his cheek, he stiffened, not sure how to feel. What was happening? He could do nothing besides look into those frightening eyes, paralyzed by fear.
Algernon had the Warrant Officer in under his control now; how easy it would be to let him go, let him run scared back to his Capitan. But Algernon had no intention of letting him escape that easily. He was relishing his position of complete dominance over the child far too much to let it all end now. There was so much he could do…it would be easy, but he would enjoy it all thoroughly. Niles Christian was primed for what ever Algernon wanted, and the possibilities were innumerable.
“I hope your silence means I have your undivided attention, Niles.” He hissed the first name against the Warrant Officer’s ear and bit it lightly. “If you’d only listened earlier, things would have been much easier for the both of us.” Algernon smirked and bit a little harder. “When someone offers you help and advice, it would be wise to heed their warnings…” He moved a little lower and kissed Niles’s neck, savoring the feeling as the Warrant Officer squirmed beneath him. “But I trust you’re beginning to realize you’re far too beautiful…too innocent, for anyone to offer you anything selflessly.” Algernon shifted his grip on his cousin’s arms, moving them both above his head and transferring his slender arms into a single hand. With his other hand now freed, Algernon began undoing the Warrant Officer’s belt. “You poor pathetic child…” Algernon murmured before kissing Christian hard on the lips, biting him again and tasting his blood.
Niles couldn't hold back a small yelp of pain as he felt the General Commandant bite his skin; he could tell he was bleeding, but, at the moment, the was the least of his concerns. He was completely at the General's mercy, and it didn't seem as if he was going to be able to escape unharmed. The other man's actions frightened him, and he was afraid to think about the direction in which they were going. He was so frightened, he could barely think, but all of a sudden, he felt a burst of urgency, and struggled hard against the General's firm grip. He writhed and squirmed, but it was all of no avail; the Commandant held him tightly and he could not break free. He heard the General laugh slightly, and he knew he had no chance; with a whimper of defeat and fear, he fell limp, his hopes of any positive outcome crushed. He didn't know what to do besides wait in agonizing fear for whatever was to come.
Algernon finished unbuckling both the Warrant Officer’s standard issue belt, and the leather belt-like strap that ran across his chest before setting them aside carefully. Though his cousin had already stopped struggling, Algernon knew he’d require the articles latter. He then ran his hand once again over the Warrant Officer’s cheek, this time, dragging his nails against the soft skin and watching as tiny droplets of blood prickled to the surface. Smirking, Algernon lifted Christian’s chin, angling his face and forcing him to look him in the eye. “You have a beautiful face… one that simply begs to be ruined.” Algernon released the Warrant Officer and shifted his position as he pushed Niles so that he was laying flat against the sofa. Crawling over him, Algernon ran his hand down Christian’s chest, holding his arms tightly above his head and using his legs to hold his cousin, pinning him in place. When Algernon’s fingers ran across the lowest button on the Warrant Officer’s jacket, he smirked again and began undoing the buttons single handedly, letting his knuckles brush lightly against his captive’s chest.
Niles was frightened more than he'd ever been before as he stared, against his will, into the General Commandant's eyes. He barely felt the pain from the scratches on his cheek; all he knew right now was the absolute terror that was staring cruelly back at him. He squirmed slightly as he was pushed back onto the sofa, though he knew he wouldn't be able to fight free, and once again wriggled against the General's grasp as he felt his clothing being undone. It was more of an automatic reaction than anything; he'd really come to terms with the fact that he was trapped and there was no way out. The General's hands against his skin were cold, and he shied away from the touch, wishing desperately that he would no longer have to feel any of it.
Algernon finished with the buttons quickly, pushing the clothing aside and exposing the Warrant Officer’s chest. “How good of you not to cry out,” Algernon breathed, dipping over Christian and pressing his cheek against his cousin’s soft skin. “It saves us both the trouble of gagging you,” he licked Christian’s nipple, and teased the sensitive skin with his teeth. “Though you still should know that this office is soundproof; no one will hear you scream.” Algernon bit down hard and cut the Warrant Officer’s bare chest again with his nails, hoping for a reaction, hoping to hear the child’s pain.
Niles couldn't hold back the cry that escaped his lips at the pain the General Commandant was causing; Niles had a feeling he was bleeding again, but he couldn't look for the way that his arms were being held above his head. He felt tears come to his eyes as the cold air brought a new wave of pain over all the cuts, and he didn't bother trying to blink them back, instead letting them roll down his cheeks as more come to take their place. Staring at the unfeeling white ceiling above him, he tried to block out what was happening from his mind, but found he was unable; the General's touches burned against his skin, every one reminding him that he was a failure, that he was not able to take care of himself. The fear was still present, hovering inside of him, but it had been worn dull; Niles had given up. He had no hope, nor any more will to fight, he would let the Commandant hurt him as he pleased because there was no other option. It was his punishment, he guessed, for not being strong enough.
Algernon lifted his head and looked down at the Warrant Officer’s tear streaked face and laughed lowly. “You poor child,” he said amorously, producing a kerchief from his jacket and wiping away Christian’s tears. Algernon let his jacket fall from his shoulders to the floor and untied his cravat before loosening his vest and blouse. He leaned back over his cousin slowly, looking into his frightened eyes and drawing closer, letting his lips ghost over Christian’s. “You needn’t cry…” Deftly, Algernon slipped his hand beneath the waistband of the Warrant Officer’s knickers and ran his fingers along the sensitive skin, encircling Christian’s member in his fingers. Algernon forced a bruising kiss to the Warrant Officer’s lips, muffling any sounds of protest as he fingered his cousin’s hardening erection. Breaking the kiss and withdrawing his hand, Algernon reached for the belt and began binding Christian’s wrists. “It’s not all that bad, is it?” He patronized as he tightened the belt, watching as the Warrant Officer’s hands became pale. “Doesn’t it feel good?”
No, Niles thought, no, no, no, it didn't feel good! This was the last thing he ever wanted to happen, ever, and he squirmed and shook his head violently as he began to lose feeling in his hands. But then, why was his body reacting? He didn't want it to, he didn't want this, he was frightened and wanted to get away, but yet his body was responding as if nothing was wrong. It was horrible; he didn't know what to do, and he was terrified of what was going to happen because of it. He felt as if he was not only betraying everything that mattered to him, but he was betraying himself.
“You may struggle all you like; I find your feeble thrashing to be rather arousing.” Algernon smirked and pulled back, sitting on his heels as he dragged his nails down Christian’s chest, scraping his skin as he made his way down to his knickers. Carefully, Algernon unbuttoned them, pressing against the Warrant Officer through the cloth as he worked the knickers down off the his hips, applying pressure with his knees to his captive’s thighs to keep him from kicking. Once the garment had been removed completely, Algernon took the base of Christian’s erection between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing lightly as he ran his tongue up the length of Christian’s shaft, dying to see him lose control. Taking just the head of the Warrant Officer’s length into his mouth, Algernon pressed against his thighs with his hand before he slowly backed off and got to his feet, dabbing at his mouth with the kerchief.
“I hope you don’t try to move,” Algernon said over his shoulder as he made his way to his desk. “I assure you, I’ll only be gone a minute.” He found what he was looking for quickly and removed a small glass vile containing a viscous oil before returning to the sofa where he’d left Niles. Stepping out of his shoes, Algernon set the vial aside and removed his own knickers, dropping them to the floor before once again straddling Christian, biting his neck as he ground their hips together forcibly.
Niles bit down on his lip, hard, reopening the scabbing cut from the earlier bite. He didn't care however; he used all his energy intently trying to get control of himself. He was crying again, choking on his tears as he tried his hardest to squirm away from the General Commandant, no matter what the other had said. He wanted to get away, he didn't want this feeling, he didn't want to be here, but yet, his body wasn't doing the same! Why? He didn't understand, and it made him cry harder, but his body didn't follow suit. He coughed and sputtered, trying to breathe around his tears and control his breathing, which was coming more irregularly now. He squirmed harder, trying somehow to get out from under the General Commandant, but without having feeling in his hands or much strength at all, he knew it was next to impossible. Whimpering pathetically in defeat, he fell limp, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears rolled down his cheeks.
Satisfied, Algernon moved back and spread Christian’s legs, reaching for the bottle and applying the solution to his fingers. He pressed the first against the Warrant Officer’s opening briefly, and then inserted it inside carefully, watching his cousin’s face, waiting for a reaction. Algernon pressed his second finger inside after only a short time, and spread them, stretching the muscle before pressing the digits deeper inside and curling his fingers, pressing against the spot he knew would draw the reaction he sought.
Niles cried out, choking on his tears and trying to squirm away again. He couldn't stand having the General touch him that way, he couldn't bear to have his fingers inside of him. Yet, there was nothing he could do, and his body was still reacting against his will. He pulled against the belt around his wrists, but that only rewarded him with a shooting pain in his arm, so he stopped and instead focused on trying to pull away from the General Commandant. He knew he couldn't succeed, but he wanted to feel like he was trying; anything to keep his mind from the foreign fingers invading his body.
“There, there, my sweet child.” Algernon said softly, withdrawing his fingers and reaching once again for the bottle. “You mustn’t wear your self out so early on…” He applied the oil to his own length liberally before lifting Christian’s legs over his shoulders and lining himself up. “After all, there’s still so much yet to come.” Smirking, Algernon pushed himself inside, inhaling sharply at the sensation. Though the Warrant Officer’s struggles made things considerably more difficult, they also served to heighten Algernon’s pleasure; he relished his triumph as he withdrew slowly and pushed back in again unhurriedly, savoring his position of total control.
Niles screamed upon the initial penetration; it wasn't so much from pain but for his own mind, anything to distract himself from what was happening to him. It didn't work, however, he suddenly felt blank and lifeless, and so he fell limp again, the tears running mindlessly down his cheeks. Completely against his will, his hips arched up slightly, but he didn't acknowledge it besides letting out a particularly piteous sob. There was nothing he could do now.
Reaching forward, Algernon caressed Christian’s cheek softly, running his thumb over his still-bleeding lip. “Do you like that?” He asked wickedly, thrusting forward again, this time a little harder, a little deeper, picking up his pace. “Scream for me again.” Algernon pressed his fingers into the Warrant Officer’s mouth, making him taste the blood as he leaned forward, bending Christian forward so that he could penetrate even further.
Niles didn't have the heart to resist anymore, he didn't have the willpower to stand up for himself. As he was bent over, he cried out again, his voice cracking with the strain. The taste of blood was metallic in his mouth, and it mingled with the salty taste of his tears around the General Commandant's invading fingers. It seemed appropriate, that every bit of him was being invaded.
The thrill of it all, of dominating and controlling another completely sent a shiver down Algernon’s spine, and he couldn’t help but feel a rush. The Warrant Officer was at his mercy, and there was nothing he could do to resist. Changing the angle of his thrusts slightly, Algernon removed his fingers from his cousin’s mouth and curled them around his length, pressing against the member teasingly as he dug his nails in deeply into Christian’s thigh, looking only to taunt the Warrant Officer into losing his control.
Niles gasped slightly in pain as he felt the blood rush to the surface where the Commandant dug in his nails, but did not do much more in response. He tried to ignore the feeling of the General's hand on him, he tried to repress his physical reaction, but, no matter what he tried, he couldn't, and so he just gave up. After a few moments, he came weakly, falling completely limp under the General Commandant. Not only did he no longer have the will to fight, he no longer had the energy. The General could do whatever he liked, Niles could not fight back.
Algernon watched for a moment as Christian gave up completely, and lost his restraint. Algernon had achieved his goal, and with a final hard thrust, he allowed himself to come deep inside the Warrant Officer’s delicate broken body. He’d won; at last Niles Christian knew the true extent of his own worthlessness—Algernon had proved it to him. Algernon savored his victory for a moment as he caught his breath and regained his vision, rearranging himself so he could lie on top of Christian.
“You see now, don’t you? It shouldn’t have come to this, but I’m afraid it was the only way to make you realize. You poor child. Now you know. You mean nothing beyond this, not to anyone.” Algernon smirked as he unbound Christian’s wrists and got to his feet, making his way over to his desk, rebuttoning his vest and blouse as he walked to retrieve a towel. He cleaned himself off and returned to take care of his furniture before dropping the cloth on the Warrant Officer’s face. Dressing quickly, Algernon looked down at the piteous Warrant Officer before him. “Get dressed.” He said coldly, turning and walking back over to his desk and taking a seat.
Slowly, Niles forced himself to sit, his wrists raw and burning from being bound. The towel fell from his face and into his lap, but it was a moment before he could bring himself to take it. Everything seemed blank now, empty, without meaning. As the General Commandant gave him a command, he looked over at him for a moment before managing to reply, "Yes, sir," his voice weak and strained. Numbly, he began to do as told, using the towel to wipe his skin before slowly pulling the scattered articles of clothing back on his body. Even as he was dressing, he felt dirty, disgusting, but there was nothing he could do about it for now, and so, once he was fully clothed, he stood, staring ahead blankly with numb indifference. He didn't think he was strong enough to move, to do anything without collapsing with exhaustion and despair, and so he stood perfectly still, waiting for another command.
Algernon watched him get dressed dispassionately and turned in his seat, once the Warrant Officer had finished, pulling a small chain that hung just behind his desk. It connected to a bell on the other side of the wall that would immediately summon his secretary. He waited just a few seconds before smiling cruelly at Christian and getting to his feet, heading over to his door and unlocking it, taking a few steps back. Seconds afterward, the door opened and an enlisted man gingerly poked his head inside. Seeing Algernon standing at the door, he stepped in side and stood at attention, awaiting orders.
“I’m afraid Warrant Officer Christian has suddenly fallen rather ill. Escort him to his home, and see to it that his servants receive him.” Algernon instructed plainly, moving back to his desk and taking a seat. “The poor child is feeling feint. Carry him.” He added as the man approached his cousin. The enlisted soldier nodded back to Algernon and bowed to the Warrant Officer quickly, before moving to support him. He could tell that Christian’s legs were about to give out beneath him, and Algernon watched as the man scooped his cousin’s limp body into his arms and made his way out of the room silently. Smirking, Algernon rearranged the papers on his desk. It had been an amusing interlude, but now he had to return to business.
Niles allowed himself to be carried out of the building and to an automobile; he didn't have the will to protest. He rode home in silence only nodding when the man bowed to him again before carrying him to the door of his home, handing him off to his worried servants, who on his vague orders brought him to his room and lay him gingerly on his bed before leaving him, promising to come if he called.
Niles didn't know how long he lay, staring at the ceiling, not having enough energy to do anything. He felt dirty, he felt like discarded garbage, but he just didn't have the will to move. Finally, after he had lay, thoughtless, for so long that he was having trouble processing where he was, he found the energy to sit up, and then to stand. In a sort of a daze, he made his way to the bathroom, then to the shower, turning on the water to the point where it was almost scalding his skin and throwing himself under the spray. With a sudden sort of determination, he grabbed a sponge and began rubbing at his skin, hard, desperately, trying to wash away the horrible feeling. He could still feel the General Commandant's hands on him, in him, he could still taste the blood on his lips. He needed to clean himself of it, he needed to somehow wash away everything that had been done to him.
Suddenly, Niles became aware of the pain where he was scrubbing himself, and realized that he had rubbed the skin on his upper arm raw, and the blood was prickling under the skin painfully now. The pain somehow seemed to bring Niles to a realization, and suddenly, he lost all his will again, and collapsed against the wall of the shower, tears returning to his eyes.
He couldn't clean himself, he could never fix the things that the General Commandant had done to him. He had become permanently stained, nothing more than a soiled white rag to be tossed away. He was too fragile to be cleaned, too uselessly delicate to be fixed, and so now, there was nothing left for him. He certainly couldn't let Dragomir touch him again, not now that he was disgusting and dirty, and so there was nothing left to live for.
Numbly, he made his way back to his room, naked and dripping wet, and found a dagger that he kept in his dresser drawer for no real reason. Funny, now, that he would actually have a use for it. Unsheathing it and fingering the blade, sharp from disuse, he made his way back into the shower. The water had gotten lukewarm, but it didn't matter now, he would never feel it again in a few minutes. Sitting back against the shower wall, he held the cold blade against his right wrist, hesitating only a second before slicing through the skin.
The pain was searing, and it took all the effort Niles had in him to transfer the blade into the now-bloody hand to slit his other wrist. This cut was much less clean, shaky and uneven, but it didn’t matter much anymore because his vision was blurry and the room was going black...Niles's last thought was that he hoped Dragomir would be happier without him before everything faded away.
“Niles!?!” Dragomir yelled for him urgently as he threw open the door’s to Niles’s manner. When Niles had failed to return from his visit to the General Commandant’s office after a few hours, Dragomir had gotten worried and asked around for the Warrant Officer’s whereabouts. His worry only increased dramatically when he got news that one of the Commandant’s personal assistants had been instructed to take him home on account to a sudden inexplicable illness. After all that had occurred during Niles’s last visit with the Commandant, Dragomir could only imagine the worst. He’d wasted no time in running, full speed, the distance to Niles’s estate.
As Dragomir burst into the reception room, worried servants appeared and crowded around him, but he didn’t have time to listen to their account. He heard one of them say they’d taken Niles to his room, and that was all Dragomir needed to hear. A tiny voice at the back of his head seemed to be screaming to him that something was terrible wrong, and he knew he hadn’t a moment to lose. Gasping to recover his breath, Dragomir stumbled up the stairs, down the hall, and into Niles’s room, only to find the bed empty. He cursed loudly and spun on his heal, dashing back into the hall. It was only then that he heard the faint sound of running water. Dashing clumsily back into the room, Dragomir felt ready to collapse from exhaustion, but he pushed himself forward and into the bathroom.
Inside, under the spray of the still running shower, Niles lay, naked, crumpled, and bleeding profusely. Dragomir gasped, his heart pounding hard and he careened forward, desperate to get to Niles. The shower basin was covered in the thin mixture of water and blood, and Niles was soaked in it, saturated by the liquid. He reached blindly forward, shutting off the water even as he feel to his knees next to Niles, feeling the bloodied water splash onto him. Dragomir ignored the sickening feeling that rose to his stomach at the site of the blood, and pulled Niles’s limp form into his arms. “Niles! Niles!” he gasped, as he caught sight of the scratches that marred his pale skin. Then, as he noticed first Niles’s hands, and then his wrists, Dragomir fell backwards, weeping. The dagger a little ways to the side of Niles confirmed his fears and Dragomir felt tears of desperation stream down his cheeks as he dragged Niles out of the shower. “No no no no no,” He repeated over and over as he continued to weep bitterly, reaching desperately for a robe and tearing it quickly into strips with his teeth. He bound the cuts tightly and pressed an urgent kiss to his lips as he felt his neck for a pulse. It was faint, but he could definitely feel one. Dragomir gasped again, crying harder with relief as he lifted Niles into his arms and stumbled back into the bedroom, quickly wrapping Niles in as many blankets as he could scrape from the mattress and holding him close, refusing to let go.
Warmth was the first thing Niles registered when he began to come into consciousness, warm arms wrapped around him. He wasn't sure where he was, or what was going on, but the warmth felt good, and so he relaxed back into the strong arms. It was only a few moments later, when he began to feel the pain in his wrists, that the memories began coming back, and he suddenly realized that he wasn't supposed to be waking up at all.
He started awake, his eyes shooting open wide, and he looked up to realize the arms belonged to Dragomir. He stared, horrified, at Dragomir, realizing that he must have been saved. No, no, no, this wasn't supposed to happen! Now he was dirtying Dragomir, staining Dragomir by touching him, and he had to get away before he made it worse. Struggling, he realized that he was wrapped in a blanket, which made it more difficult. Still, he squirmed, throwing his weight towards the ground, out of Dragomir's hold. "Don't-Don't touch me! I'll make you...I'll make you dirty..." As he pulled, he began to cry, wishing that he didn't have to pull away from Dragomir. It was the last thing he ever wanted to do, but now he had to, for Dragomir's own good.
After what felt like hours, Dragomir’s tears had only just subsided when he felt Niles stirring in his arms, but as Niles pulled away, struggling out of his grasp, they started again. What was going on? What had happened? What did the Commandant do to him? The questions flooded back into Dragomir’s head as Niles wriggled away. Dirty? How could that be? What did he mean? “Niles,” Dragomir gasped, grabbing him by the arm to keep him from getting away. “Oh god Niles,” He sobbed, “What-what happened…?”
Niles stopped struggling for a second, startled by Dragomir's question. "Wh-what happened...?" he repeated numbly. It was painful to recall, but Dragomir had asked, and so... "He...he..." Niles swallowed, the tears which had slowed starting up again full force. "He..." He simply couldn't bring himself to continue, however, he couldn't say it. And besides, no matter how horrible it had been for him, his body...it had reacted...and so... he was really just dirty, dirty and disgusting and soiled and stained and ruined, and he couldn't soil Dragomir, too. Remembering himself, he resumed struggling, throwing his body, all of his weight, head-first towards the floor.
Dragomir dove forward, catching Niles around his waist, and hauled him back onto the bed. As his hands moved over Niles’s bare skin, Dragomir registered the change in texture and remembered the scratches. His breath catching in his throat, Dragomir realized that they were all over him; Niles’s cheek, his chest, his thigh… the scratches weren’t very deep, but they were jagged, and the skin around them was beginning to bruise. Each set contained three distinct cuts running parallel to each other, and two others, faintly visible on either side; they were from fingernails. Dragomir shivered as it all started to fall into place. He choked, sputtering, looking again at Niles’s bandaged wrists and seeing the dark bruise that had blossomed even beyond the cover of the cloth. “W-what…?” he breathed, looking over Niles again and forcing himself to look beyond the obvious wounds to find the subtleties. His lip was split, and as Niles turned away from him, Dragomir saw red discoloration and bite marks visible against Niles’s pale skin. “No…” Dragomir whimpered, stunned, as he fell backwards, wiping at his eyes feverishly to keep the tears from blurring his vision. “Niles-” he gasped, crawling back towards him and reaching forward gently. How could this have happened…? Why? He had to hold Niles, he had to protect him and keep him safe—even if Niles didn’t want to be touched, he wouldn’t let go. Carefully, Dragomir scooped him up into his arms, and held him tightly and unrelentingly, but gently all the same.
Niles squirmed desperately, but Dragomir was much stronger than him, and he couldn't get out of his hold. He had to, however, he could let Dragomir become ruined as he had been, and he writhed and pulled away harder, choking out through his tears, "You have to let me go! He- he made me dirty...I can't...I can't let you get dirty too..." but even as the words came out of his mouth, he was already losing energy; his head was starting to spin with dehydration and blood loss, and he broke down, sobbing hard against Dragomir's chest. "He...he broke me...I'm worthless....please..."
“No, god no, Niles,” Dragomir managed to gasp through his tears. “You’re not, you could never be-” Dragomir worried he’d hurt Niles; he’d stopped struggling, but still Dragomir wouldn’t let him go—he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to let Niles hurt himself again, especially not on his account. “Niles,” Dragomir wept not knowing what he could possibly say to easy the hurt, “I-I couldn’t live with out you! Please…I love you.” Tilting his head, Dragomir placed a kiss softly on Niles’s cheek. “I need you…”
"E-even if you want to-" Niles choked out against Dragomir's chest, "I'm only going to make things worse...he made me dirty..." He didn't understand why Dragomir didn't see, why Dragomir didn't understand why he had been pushing away. "He...he was inside me...so-so cold...and now I'm disgusting, vile...I can't let it get on you, too..." His head was spinning, he wasn't even sure he understood himself anymore...but he had to make Dragomir understand, whatever the cost.
“You could never be disgusting.” Dragomir sniffed, trying to recover himself for Niles’s sake. “I…I don’t know how this could have happened, but please…Niles, I don’t know what I’d do without you!” It was no use; he started crying again and buried his face in Niles’s still damp hair. “Please…to not touch you…I couldn’t do it! I won’t let you go…stay with me, please…”
The world was spinning around Niles, and he wanted to struggle, but he just couldn't. He continued to lay, limp, with his face in Dragomir's chest, unable to move. He had to say no, no matter how much he loved or needed Dragomir, he had to pull away or else he would dirty Dragomir...but yet, he was all out of energy, completely spent, and he realized that he was slipping slowly back into unconsciousness. Through half lidded eyes, he managed to look up at Dragomir, but upon seeing his worried and tear stained face, he lost his train of thought completely. As he drifted away again into the blackness, he managed to mumble, "I...want to stay with you..." before everything was enveloped in darkness once again.
Those words were all that Dragomir needed to hear, and he cried again without restraint, relieved that Niles was coming around. As long as he could manage to still be with him, Dragomir believed that he could help Niles to pull though, somehow, and he’d do whatever it took. Now though, Niles needed rest; he’d lost a lot of blood, and it was important that his body be given ample time to recover from the trauma. Wiping his eyes, Dragomir situated Niles on the bed so that he was lying down and pulled the covers up over him. Dragomir wasn’t about to leave his side however, and he had no intention of moving. Being careful not to disturb Niles, Dragomir lay down next to him, and reached for his hand, pressing a kiss softly against the bandage. He’d never let Niles go.